The Best Juice There Is : Julio Franco

After former major leaguer Andy Van Slyke said that 45-year-old Brave Julio Franco must be on steroids, Franco said the only thing he’s on is the power of devout faith.

“Julio Franco is 46 years old [sic] — I’ve got to believe he’s on it,” Van Slyke told host Rick Barry on KNBR, the San Francisco Giants’ flagship radio station, on Wednesday.

Told of those comments Thursday, Franco smiled and said, “Tell Andy Van Slyke he’s right — I’m on the best juice there is. I’m juiced up every day, and the name of my juice is Jesus.

“I’m on His power, His wisdom, His understanding. Andy Van Slyke is right. But the thing he didn’t mention was what kind of steroids I’m on. Next time you talk to him, tell him the steroid I’m on is Jesus of Nazareth.”

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I Do Twitter Jokes Again

I’m going to start doing twitter jokes again, I think. I burned myself out last time, but I’m feeling reenergized. Here are a few of my favs from last year:

Oneida Community : Bring Life to the Table

The Oneida Community was a religious commune founded by John Humphrey Noyes in 1848 in Oneida, New York. The community believed that Jesus had already returned in AD 70, making it possible for them to bring about Jesus’s millennial kingdom themselves, and be free of sin and perfect in this world, not just Heaven (a belief called Perfectionism). The Oneida Community practiced Communalism (in the sense of communal property and possessions), Complex Marriage (a polyamorous group marriage wherein all partners live together, share finances, children, and household responsibilities)Male Continence (or coitus reservatus, wherein the penetrative partner does not attempt to ejaculate),and Ascending Fellowship (whereby community elders, considered especially godly, led younger believers heavenward by introducing them to what they saw as the holy pleasures of sex. Shortly after puberty, boys and girls were assigned a succession of older love partners). The community also experimented with eugenics, a deliberate mating strategy in order to produce ideal human specimens. The founder John Humphrey Noyes, a graduate of Yale Divinity School, thought that his “superior” genes should be heavily represented in this effort.

The Oneida Community dissolved in 1881, and eventually became the giant silverware company Oneida Limited.   

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Coffee and Sobriety

“Remember — until the mid-seventeenth century, most people in England were either slightly — or very — drunk all of the time. Drink London’s fetid river water at your own peril; most people wisely favoured watered-down ale or beer (“small beer”). The arrival of coffee, then, triggered a dawn of sobriety that laid the foundations for truly spectacular economic growth in the decades that followed as people thought clearly for the first time. The stock exchange, insurance industry, and auctioneering: all burst into life in 17th-century coffeehouses — in Jonathan’s, Lloyd’s, and Garraway’s — spawning the credit, security, and markets that facilitated the dramatic expansion of Britain’s network of global trade in Asia, Africa and America.”

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